Why? Because there's something not quite right about him. Not in a physical way, although there does appear to be something of a disparity between his flashy photo byline and any other pictures that appear of the Sun's Bizarre columnist. No, it's more his continuing attempt to strike a balance between being a tough-guy scourge of pop stars and a restless fan boy desperate for approval, as is the case today with David Bowie.
The peg for this revelation is the news that Bowie and Paul Weller have made friends after Weller rolled back on his opinion that Bowie's music is "pish". Weller made his warm-spirited remarks after receiving the Brits lifetime achievement award in 2006, but rolled back in an interview with Mojo (who else?), saying: "Whatever gripes I've had about Bowie in the past, Low's been a constant since I bought it in 1977."
So hurrahs all around, so much so that Gordon's gone and got a little over-excited. "I'm delighted these two have buried the hatchet," he squeals today. "It slightly improves my chances of getting them round to my place for a crate of beer and a game of Guitar Hero. Slightly."
This makes us worry about Smart Gordon. Not because his worship is unworthy of a hardened Fleet Street hack, but because the whole soiree sounds ill-planned. Crate of beer? Guitar Hero? Whatever happened to vintage Cristal and bizarre sexual practices?
Also in Smart's column this morning is news of a Stateside triumph for Duffy, a development that will surely lift the hearts of all right-thinking people. Who are chronically uncool.
"Duffy has stormed into the US album chart at No 4. Shifting more than 70,000 copies of her debut album Rockferry, the Welsh warbler has raced past Leona Lewis who sits at No 5. Nice to see two British girls flying the flag in the States."
And so it is. Or is it? Are they flying the flag? Or offering cleverly repackaged versions of American soul music? These are questions that we're sure will someday be resolved over a game of Guitar Hero.
The corrupting influence of Liam Gallagher on his six-year-old son seems to have offended the delicate sensibility of the Times. The Oasis frontman was papped emerging from London restaurant Nobu carrying little Gene Gallagher, who is proudly giving the assembled throng of photographers a two-finger salute. "Clearly he has been well schooled in the delicate art of how rock aristocracy should behave," diarist Hugo Rifkind sarcastically notes.
Finally, the Star is reporting that Amy Winehouse believes her house is haunted. And that's all we'll be saying on that one.
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